Two “virtually” supported births. One planned…one by mistake! - Part 2

Here’s part two. If you didn’t check out part 1 - the unplanned virtual support of Jessica’s twins, you can check that out here!

This is the reflections of the mama who I wrote about a few days ago. She was the 200th birth I supported, and the first planned virtual support due to the Covid-19 restrictions at her chosen place of birth (note - not all facilities are restricted).

Get a tissue… I know I needed one!

OUR VIRTUAL DOULA

I won’t forget the disappointment in both our voices when I told Tamrha the hospital would only allow one person with me at the birth of our first child. My husband shared that disappointment as we both felt a doula brought incredible value to our birth team and was essential for support and success during my first birth. We’d talked with a few different doula’s, and we just “clicked” with CCD. Now, because of these protocols with the virus, it felt like we had to figure this out on our own

About a week later, Tamrha emailed me about her vision of what it could be like to have a virtual doula if that’s what we wanted. I was so excited as I read through her offer! It was clear to me that she truly cared and was thoughtful and working hard to find a way to be there for us. The fact that she was willing to make those adjustments meant so much. We had a video consultation to talk through the details, but we didn’t need much more convincing — we knew this was exactly what we wanted and needed. 

During labor, Tamrha was available via text and video chat at any moment, just like she would have been in person. She answered our questions, suggested things to do during active labor to make sure our baby would be in a good position, encouraged my husband on how to physically help during labor and what questions to ask the hospital staff. Every time I talked with her and saw her reassuring face on my phone screen, I was so thankful we chose to do this. In the thick of it, when I was exhausted and discouraged, Tamrha knew exactly what to say to validate whatever I was feeling or thinking and help me keep moving forward. 

After 31 long hours, and labor taking some unexpected turns, we were finally ready to push! Tamrha gave me a quick pep talk about pushing before my husband set my phone up in the corner so she could see the room which was the perfect spot. I could see her kind smile, wiping her tears, and hear her cheering me on in those final exhilarating moments before meeting our baby! Thirty minutes later, and our baby GIRL was here!! I have no idea how long Tamrha patiently watched our first blissful moments as parents unfold before my husband bought the phone over so we could proudly show off our baby with the biggest smiles and tears of joy.

Afterward, Tamrha texted to check-in on how we were adjusting into parenthood, how breastfeeding was going, and how we were both doing emotionally. Our virtual postpartum visit was so sweet being able to share with her how her presence and expertise meant to us. I’m tearful remembering this experience and couldn’t be more thankful for how Tamrha gave so much of herself to care for us. Many times, we’ve told people that having a doula was absolutely invaluable!! We can’t wait to finally meet in person — I feel like I’ve already hugged her a hundred times! 

We can’t recommend Tamrha and CCD enough and we already know we want them to be a part of our birth team for our future kids as well — but in person. :) “Thank you” isn’t enough to communicate our gratefulness. We love you, Tamrha!

And I love you too Bree! Thank you for letting me be a part of your birth story! Get ready for a huge hug!

New toes.. photo by baby Halle’s Daddy

Two “virtually” supported births. One planned…one by mistake! - Part 1

This might be a bit long for one blog post, but in my experience expectant people like to read about birth! That said, I’ll break this into two parts for you to enjoy some reading during these socially distancing days. - Tamrha

When everything started getting shutdown with Covid-19 issues and the birth world, I had a mama who I supported twice reach out to me after she saw the Virtual package go live. “I sort of had you virtually…by mistake!” she texted. Then, because she’s amazingly awesome, she offered to write down her thoughts about that experience if I thought it would be helpful.

I loved the idea! So, I tossed her some questions. You’ll be able to read those below and discover the reason she had virtual support ‘by mistake’. After that, you’ll be able to read the thoughts from a planned virtual support client. In fact, it’s from the 200th mama I had, who’s birth I wrote about a few days ago.

“Opps.. Virtual Support!” Thoughts from Jessica Z.

Tell us about your second pregnancy and why you decided to rehire.

It was so easy to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy with my first. The odds were stacked against us because I have PCOS, but somehow, we managed to get pregnant the first month we tried without the use of anything other than a calendar. I was hopeful that the second time around would be the same experience, boy was I wrong. Having a second baby took us on a journey we never imagined. We tried for months and were unsuccessful and then finally, a positive test! I was so excited and planned to call my doctor on Monday to get scheduled for labs to see if I needed progesterone supplements again. Unfortunately, I woke up the next morning and was bleeding. I had experienced a very early miscarriage commonly referred to as a chemical pregnancy. The next month rolled around and I was elated to get a strong positive! I was able to get into the doctor right away, start my progesterone, and went in for an early scan to make sure everything was okay. It was! I had all of the typical early pregnancy symptoms and we started planning. We told family and friends, and everyone was so excited. I went to the doctor for a 10-week check and learned that our baby no longer had a heart beat and by measurements had stopped growing the day before. I was by myself getting that news and I was beyond devastated.

When we had healed emotionally enough to try again, we were scared. We were successful that first month of actively trying after our losses. I remember seeing the positive and feeling accomplished for having gotten pregnant this round and then immediate fear and anxiety of what was to come. My doctor got me in right away for labs. My HCG looked great and was more than doubling, but I did once again need a progesterone supplement. I had a few more labs pulled for HCG where the numbers continued to more than double. We anxiously went in for our first ultrasound and received the shock of a lifetime. We were definitely pregnant, with TWINS!

After the shock wore off, the anxiety of “what ifs” set in. I knew I needed Tamrha’s support, but I was terrified to tell anyone I was pregnant, let alone start making plans for the delivery! I reached out via text, gushed to her about our losses and admitted to her how terrified I was. Tamrha soothed me by letting me get it all out on the table, she provided me with pregnancy after loss support links and groups and recommended a few books that would help offer more perspectives. I hadn’t even hired her again and she was already my rock. Fast forward literally just a few days, I began bleeding again. I was devastated and certain I was going to miscarry. After an emergency ultrasound visit, we found out that everything was actually okay and that I had a sub-chorionic hemorrhage. I bled over the course of the next 7 weeks every day and sometimes quite heavily because of the hemorrhage. Tamrha was there for me every step of the way. Tamrha was patient and kind and so supportive through all of it. Tamrha supported my mentality through a time where I was constantly asking her for feedback, opinions, and resources. Most of the time, this was all through text and email because I was too emotional to talk on the phone. When our 20-week anatomy scanned finally came and the maternal fetal specialist confirmed that both babies were healthy, I reached out to her and I remember her being just as excited and relived as we were.  Thankfully the rest of the pregnancy was pretty easy with no complications.

Can you describe how having your doula phone and text support was helpful during your induction?

My water actually started leaking on a Tuesday evening, but I didn’t realize it was my water. I woke up the next day and was showing early signs of labor, but I blew it off as just being uncomfortable. I was a bit more than 36 weeks at that point. I called my doctor just in case and they had me go to L&D to get checked. I was so convinced that I was not in labor I didn’t tell anyone I was going in, nor did I bring my hospital bag. After getting checked out, they confirmed that my water had broken, but I had not started dilating yet. They told me that I was going to be admitted and they would start the induction process with Pitocin immediately. I was shocked. I actually called Tamrha before I called my husband! We were able to talk on the phone and come up with a plan over how to handle things, but I asked her not to come just yet since I wanted some time with my husband. As time went on, I was not dilating in any sort of “good pace.”  Because my first labor took so long, I was worried about how long this one would take. I called Tamrha and told her what was going on. She was able to give positions that would open my hips and allow baby to come down and help with dilation. Eventually, I was moving into active labor and handed the phone off to my sister. My sister guided me through Tamrha’s advice and helped me along. I don’t know why I didn’t feel ready for Tamrha to come in person yet, but I didn’t. She was more than willing to provide the support over the phone and do what made me comfortable at the time. We had never planned on doing this by phone, but we ended up doing it this way because that is what I needed at the time. By the time I was ready for Tamrha to come for the birth, I was surprised to learn that I was finally dilated to 10 and ready to push! We called her back and told her the news. She immediately said that it was fine and she would transition her doula support hours from birth to postpartum.

How did virtual support help your husband?

Steve was very anxious through the labor process. He was concerned about me because my BP was running a low and concerned about how things were going to turn out. We had to keep changing positions because both babies had to be on the monitors at all times. He was doing the best he could to keep me comfortable, but was getting a little frustrated when he felt like he couldn’t help. Even by phone, Tamrha was able to guide Steve on how to help me. She instructed him through helping me get comfortable, helped me keep moving and changing positions, and was able to get him to refocus how he could help me. Tamrha’s guidance allowed him to be so supportive to me. He was anxious and probably even frustrated with how long the induction was taking, but Tamrha helped him work through his emotions so that he could continue to support me.

With my first birth and the birth of the twins, Tamrha was always aware of and supportive of dad. Birthing is an emotional process for both parents and Tamrha’s support made such a positive impact in both of my birth experiences. When I think of the people involved in my births, I immediately think of how calming and soothing Tamrha was at all times. Even when things didn’t go as planned, she talked with us and helped us understand the options that were being provided to us. The nurses are there for you of course, but they are in and out of your room. If it weren’t for having the support of a birth doula, I am not sure how we would have felt when things weren’t going as planned. For my in person doula experience and remote doula experience, Tamrha helped to keep us focused and calm throughout the entire process.

How did this help your sister?

My sister Missy was with me for the labor and birth of my oldest and I wanted her there for the twins as well. With the birth of my oldest, Missy and Tamrha worked together as a team. The plan was to do the same this time around, but we ended up doing this by virtual support instead. Missy became my point person to provide updates to Tamrha and seek advice on how to provide comfort measures or get me into a new position. Missy was even able to FaceTime Tamrha in so that she could see what was going on, talk directly to me, and help with any positioning. This was so helpful! I loved having Tamrha’s support even though it was virtual. Most people have loved ones and friends that may be desired to be a part of the birth. Having the support of a virtual doula allows that person, even if it is your partner, to take a more active role in assisting and supporting the mother. It was a really special experience!

Why do you think planned virtual support would be beneficial?

Planned virtual support would be great because the parents would know ahead a time that this is the plan. Had I known this is what I was going to end up doing, I would have brought a computer with a camera. I would have planned a set up that would allow Tamrha to be connected with us over a video conference like zoom. It also would have been nice to have a screen larger than my phone, but it all worked out. Given the uncertain times we are in now with the pandemic, I would absolutely plan for virtual support. At this time I am sure many moms have all kinds of emotions around who is “allowed” to be with them. I would not want to worry about how I would have access to my doula or partner! Planned virtual access will provide you with support, no matter what. When I think about my first time in person doula and my second time virtual experience, they were both positive experiences and I would highly recommend either method to expecting parents.

 Thank you Jessica!

Look at this beautiful family!

Healing Winter (and Postpartum!) Soup

Healing Soup for The Body and the Soul

A few months ago, I found myself feeling a little melancholic watching my yard through the window. The days were becoming shorter, the tree leaves were changing color and falling off a little more each day. In my head, I traveled in time remembering some of my late grandma’s delicious recipes. She used to have a lot of great food ideas for each season, or moments like a rainy or snowy day, birthdays, weddings, and formal and informal gatherings. She was very particular with her recipes and she would never share them with anyone.

However, I was a very curious four-year-old and I remember I would come to the kitchen and observe quietly for hours as she began to cook the meal of the day. On any cold and grey day, she would prepare an awesome chicken soup with colorful vegetables, brown rice, onions, cilantro, lemon and even avocado. This soup is multi-purpose. I remember she would make this soup when someone at home was sick with the cold or the flu, or after someone had a major surgery and needed a healthy and nutritious meal. She would also make this soup for the neighborhood women as part of their postpartum care.

As an adult now, I have made this soup for my family members, friends, coworkers and neighbors when they are ill or when their spirits are low. They all seem to love it! This soup is delicious, nutritious, healing and guilt free; not to mention your heart does really feel happy after you eat this colorful soup. It might be the ingredients grandma used or the love she put on each batch. I would never know for sure, but what I do know now is that when I make this soup for a loved one, I spend the time picking the best organic ingredients and I put tons of love in it. I am now a birth doula student and I spend a lot of time with women as they share their amazing journey with me. I can’t help but think about my grandma and the love she shared with all of the women in her life, even the ones that she hardly knew. This exciting new career allows me to share some love and kindness with other women and I cannot be happier for this opportunity.

I want to share the love that had been passed to me through the years by sharing the recipe for this awesome soup! I hope you enjoy it and you share the love as well with special people in your life. 

Ingredients

This is good for four servings:

2 Gallons of water

2 Organic Boneless Chicken Breasts

4 Organic carrots washed, peeled and cut in small pieces

4 Organic golden potatoes washed and cut in four pieces

1 Organic small cilantro bunch

1 Organic medium onion

salt to taste

1 Lemon and 1 avocado

1 Small bag of brown rice

Bring the two gallons of water to a rapid boil, then add the carrots and potatoes. Proceed to wash the chicken breasts and add those to the boil. Let everything cook for 60 minutes in medium heat.  Proceed to separately cook some brown steamed rice. While this is happening, chop the cilantro and the onion finely and place those in small bowls. Now cut the lemon in four parts and set it aside. After 60 minutes has passed by, take your pot off the stove and let it rest. After five minutes has passed, take a big fork and get the two pieces of chicken out of the pot, place those on a plate and begin to shred with the fork. Proceed to gather your soup bowls and add 1/2 cup of brown cooked rice to the bottom of the bowl. With a soup ladle, begin to add the soup to the bowl. Make sure to serve the same amount of vegetables in each bowl. Once your soup and rice are in the bowl, proceed to add some of the shredded chicken, onion and cilantro. Cut your avocado and add some chunks to it. Lastly add a few drops of lemon and salt to taste. I hope you like it as much as I do!

With so much love and healing,

Dita Schuerman- Mentee Birth Doula .

 Additional Notes -

As an herbalist as well as a mother who looks at food as medicine, I’m always interested in the healing properties within recipes. Below are just some of the benefits found within this family recipe.

Cilantro - contains vitamins A, C and K, as well as trace amounts of folate, potassium, manganese, choline, beta-carotene, beta-cryptoxantin, lutein, and zeaxanthin. Studies have shown cilantro to have antifungal properties, assists with pain and inflammation, and has anticancer effects.

Onion- Did you know that 1 cup of chopped onion provides 13% of the recommended daily intake of vitamin C? A nutrient dense food, they are great for skin and hair, contain vitamins B6 and manganese, calcium, iron, folate, magnesium, phosphorus, and potasium.

Lemon- More vitamin C! Just one lemon can provide 30 milligrams of this important vitamin that is essential for our health. The Vitamin C that comes from foods like lemons are shown to lower risks of stroke, lower blood pressure, can prevent asthma, increases the body’s ability to absorb iron, and boosts the immune system.

Avocado- Another food that is a great source of vitamins such as C, E, K and B6, as well as riboflavin, niacin, folate, magnesium, potassium and contain omega-3 fatty acids. While most of the calories within avocados come from fat, this type of fat is healthy and beneficial, and helps to keep us feeling full and satiated. Healthy for our hearts, our vision, they also add 25% of our daily intake of vitamin K which can aid bone health. And did you know that it takes an avocado 9 months to grow? What does that remind you of?

Enjoy the soup! - Tamrha Richardson CD, CPD, CBE (CBI)

Traditional Uses of the Rebozo

Traveling back in time and remembering my roots.

by Dita Schuerman, CCD Doula Mentee

I thought about sharing a little story about the colorful shawl called a rebozo. This colorful shawl is one of the many symbols of Mexico, because of its colors, uses and the way women could make out of this garment a proud symbol of their nationality.

I remember when I was around four or five years old, my grandmother would teach women in the neighborhood the many uses and benefits of using a rebozo.  Rebozos are very inexpensive and can be worn in many ways, such as folded or wrapped around the head or upper body to provide shade from the sun, to provide warmth when the temperatures are cold and as a part of an accessory to any outfit.

Indigenous women use rebozos to carry their babies and heavy objects. This reminds me of a young beautiful indigenous woman who used visit my house every Wednesday. She used to sell avocados from the trees her father planted years ago and would bring two heavy baskets full of avocados tied on her back with a rebozo. She used to tell me that by tying the rebozo around her waist and between her arms, the big heavy baskets weren’t as heavy, and her back was safe from injures as the rebozo helped distribute the weight of those big and heavy baskets. It almost seemed like a big backpack.

I remember my aunts carrying their newborn babies with a rebozo. My grandma used to say that it was beneficial for the mother since the rebozo would help distribute the baby’s weight evenly and the mother’s back would not be in pain. It would also allow togetherness and bonding between mother and child. Besides that, if properly wrapped. It would allow the young mothers to have free hands to carry their extra bags or hold hands with their other children while the newborn sleep safe and sound. My grandma also mentioned that mothers who use rebozo with their newborns would notice their baby’s spine become stronger in less time than babies whose mothers chose to not benefit by using a rebozo. 

I am studying to become a birth doula and nowadays I have seen the use of rebozo as a comfort measure and position tool for pregnancy and childbirth. The rebozo can be used with the help of the person’s labor support as a comfort measure and it can also help the baby move into an optimal position when used in specific ways. Nonetheless, rebozo is one of those things that brings me good memories of early teachings. As I learn and study for my new and exciting career as a doula, it brings me joy to discover how helpful it can be for pregnant women and people, and that I get to utilize its benefits with women of different backgrounds and beliefs.

This is a picture of my sister in law Pamela. Ahe and my 3-month-old little niece live in Mexico City and she decided to utilize the benefits of rebozo. She says her back is not in pain and she does notice how the baby holds her back straight and her spine is getting stronger every day.

Have you ordered your rebozo yet?